This'n'That; April Fourth #2; More Baseball Humor

Some More Baseball Humor
  This was found in a publication the AARP-American Association of Radical Prima Donnas:

• Alan Sutton Sothoron pitched his initials off today. -Anonymous; St Louis paper
• All I remember about my wedding day in 1967 is that the Cubs lost a double-header. -George F. Will
• Never root for a team whose uniforms have elastic stretch waistbands. -Susan Sarandon
• There ain't much to being a ballplayer, if you're a ballplayer. -Honus Wagner
• Us ballplayers do things backward.  First we play, then we retire and go to work. -Charlie Gehringer
• The funny thing about those uniforms is that you hang them in a closet and they get smaller and smaller. -Curt Flood
• Sure I played, did you think I was born age 70 sitting in a dugout trying to manage guys like you? -Casey Stingel, to Mickey Mantle
• When you start the game, they don't say "Work ball!"  They say "Play ball!" -Willie Stargell
• There are two theories on hitting the knuckleball.  Unfortuately, neither one of them works. -Charlie Lau
• The way to catch a knuckleball is to wait until the ball stops rolling and then pick it up. -Bob Uecker
• Think!  How the hell are you gonna think and hit at the same time? -Yogi Berra
• The majority of American males put themselves to sleep by striking out the batting order of the New York Yankees. -James Thurber
• A hot dog at the game beats roast beef at the Ritz. -Humphrey Bogart
• He's the strangest hitter in baseball.  Figure him out one way and he'll kill you another. -Sandy Koufax on Roberto Clemente
• As a nation we are dedicated to keeping physically fit-and parking as close to the stadium as possible. -Bill Vaughan
• Slump?  I ain't in no slump.  I just ain't hitting. -Yogi Berra
• A man once told me to walk with the Lord.  I'd rather walk with the bases loaded. -Ken Singleton
• I'd be willing to bet you, if I was a betting man, that I have never bet on baseball. -Pete Rose
• Little League baseball is a very good thing because it keeps the parents off the streets. -Yogi Berra
• Lasorda's standard reply when some new kid would ask directions to the whirlpool was to tell him to stick his foot in the toilet and flush it. -Steve Garvey
• If you don't succeed at first, try pitching. -Jack Harshman
• The Hall of Fame is for baseball people.  Heaven is for good people. -Jim Dwyer
• So I'm ugly. So what?  I never saw anyone hit with his face. -Yogi Berra
• He looks like a greyhound, but he runs like a bus. -George Brett, on thrid baseman Jamie Quirk
• The baseball mania has run its course.  It has no future as a professional endeavor.  Cincinnati Gazette editorial-1879

Til Nex'Time....